People make life AWESOME

Since Christmas just happened I'd like to take a change from the original format and list some positive things. I received some phenomenal gifts this year such as some awesome t-shirts, underwear, some video games, cash, a movie, chai tea, a new D ring for my keys, jenga max, a mechanical clay target launcher, and a new computer chair that I'm writing from now.

Christmas is great, and I hope everybody has a merry time and enjoys the season.

Merry Christmas!

Twilight New Moon was the worst movie ever (besides Transformers 2)

Twilight New Moon was terrible, absolutely abysmal. I have never seen worse acting in my entire life, it's as if nobody is able to get through a single line without it hurting them. Nobody uses a normal inflection in their voice for any sentence. Also, making fun of zombie movies (original dawn of the dead) drawing parallels to consumerism in a vampire flick? How pretentious and better than thou, get over yourself worthless movie. Oh, and let's not forget Romeo and Juliet, SUBTLE ENOUGH? Worst movie ever, right behind Transformers 2, that movie is still worse somehow.

Spoiler alert: Never see this movie because it sucks and I'm going to tell you why.

Seriously, the story in this movie doesn't progress AT ALL until the VERY last scene. It starts off with Bella loving Edward and blah blah, then Edward says I can't be with you I'm going away. That right there is where the story starts, because it sets up a conflict. For anybody who doesn't know, here's how stories are laid out.

Characters introduced, plot element introduced, conflict, buildup, climax, resolution, roll credits.

Twilight does follow that format, but only for 10 minutes of the entire 2 hour and whatever too long film. The whole film is just useless and painful filler that serves to add nothing to the main story in any manner whatsoever.

Nobody delivers a line straight up. Every sentence is spoken in this low miserable tone of voice and broke into like a billion segments. JUST SAY THE DAMN SENTENCE ALREADY.

Yeah, the voltaire were worthless as well. What a bunch of royal creeps sitting on their thrones.

The music in this film made no sense. I'm quite positive certain record labels paid top billing so they could put their bands music in the film so when the soundtrack is sold people will buy other cds of the people on the soundtrack. The werewolf chasing the red haired girl scene had music that totally didn't fit. Also, every song was from a band that uses way overly pretentious effects and elements for music and when they sing it's like that whining emo queer singing that is also overly pretentious. The music sucks in this film.

Also, there are just so many scenes and camera shots they have where you can tell they are trying way too hard. It's like the most overly pretentious gothic film wannabe I have ever seen in my entire life. Like every shot screams "look at me I'm a gothic film I'm so great look at how awesome I am".

Oh, how white can Edward be? Dude, take off the friggin lip stick and tone down the powder.

Yeah, this was the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.

Critical Mass

Wow, I don't know what I should focus on for this one. First off, bikers in the city are totally lame. Now, of course there are the ones who ride properly and don't blatantly ignore traffic laws, but that is not the majority of bikers. Critical mass is the mass (duh) gathering of bikers who act like jerks, block countless amounts of traffic, and disrupt the normal flow of things. Why do they do this? To show that bikes are just as important as cars, and that they're not an inconvenience to people. Seriously? I would elaborate more on this topic, but you all know how terrible critical mass is.

School Contests

My college is currently having a contest online, to see who can define what Columbia College of Chicago looks like when it's at its best. So many people wrote so many ridiculous, haughty, over the top idiotic nonsensical responses. This one guy went on and on about it being a fillet Mignon. Seriously? So many people tried being so artsy about it, saying things like "it's such an enriching bastion for creativity and change". Give me a break. Here's what I entered for the contest.

Columbia at its' best is a very odd term to try and understand. What is Columbia, other than a motley assortment of partly rundown buildings strung throughout the south loop, furnished with some top of the line equipment? That is of course besides the Macs, because macs are terrible. If we look at Columbia as a collection of people, there is no doubt that it is a collection of skilled and talented minds, that is of course when we strictly view the faculty in charge of teaching. When we look at Columbia as a collection of students, however, we see an entirely different world. We see students who go out at least twice a week, get high and get wasted, and then recant their stories of drunk driving, intoxicated sex, and other shenanigans, and display pride in themselves for this behavior. They wear mismatched clothing articles that would never go together and call it style. They act like their style is individualistic and new, even though every person around them is doing exactly the same thing. They speak of bands and musicians that are so "underground" and fresh, and that they've been a fan from the start, even though tons of people have heard of that band and they've been a fan from the start too, that or the band is terrible and it's no wonder why nobody has ever heard of them. You find a group of liberal thinkers who say that they are ahead of the curve, and that they are so forward in their ways, even though they are more bigoted then those they claim to be. They speak out against the government and others in charge, and they know nothing of what they say. When you look at the students of Columbia at its' best, you find a muddled pile of confused and obtuse individuals who have no direction or pull over their own person or life. Columbia, a soulless shell of a haven for every misunderstood artist under the sun.

Let's hope honesty goes rewarded here.

Dane Cook

MACS ARE WORTHLESS

Why Macs are worthless
A simple technological explanation as to why Macintosh computers are nothing more than overpriced paperweights.

Let’s first start with the fact that the price of an iMac is 1,500 dollars, base. That’s with no upgrades, installed programs, or extra features or accessories. Let’s take a closer look though, at why they are completely worthless merely for the fact that you can get a better PC for far less.
To do this we are simply going to post a parts list for a different PC build with nearly the same parts such as ram speed and processor type, with the only difference being the amount of ram and speed of the processor, and different parts obviously. The main factor is that it is still an intel core 2 duo LGA 775 socket system. Let’s begin shall we?

ASUS P5E3 WS PRO LGA 775 Intel X38 ATX Intel Motherboard - $200

Intel Core 2 Duo E8600 Wolfdale 3.33GHz LGA 775 65W Dual-Core Processor - $270

Kingston HyperX 8GB (4 x 2GB) 240-Pin DDR3 SDRAM DDR3 1333 Desktop Memory - $210

Thermaltake W0116RU 750W Modular Power Supply Unit - $120

Sony Optiarc DVD Burner with LightScribe Black SATA Model LightScribe Support - $34

Antec Nine Hundred Black Steel ATX Mid Tower Computer Case - $100

Seagate Barracuda 7200.12 1TB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s 3.5" Internal Hard Drive - $90

XFX HD-577A-ZNFC Radeon HD 5770 (Juniper XT) Video Card – $175

Hanns·G HG-281DPB Black 28" 3ms Widescreen LCD HDMI Monitor - $310

Logitech 920-000021 Black USB Standard Access Keyboard 600 - $25

Logitech M500 Tilt Wheel USB Corded Laser Mouse - $40

Microsoft Windows 7 Ultimate 64-bit 1-Pack for System Builders - $190

Total Cost: $1,764

iMac total cost: $2,249

That does of course reflect the cost of having a lower model graphics card with less ram on it and a 3” smaller screen than the one we have selected for our pc.

That part list is definitive proof that you can build a much better system AND get the input devices to go along with it at a much lower cost than it would be to simply buy an iMac.

Oh, I also forgot to mention one things that’s always bothered me about the iMac. You have to have an external amplifier to use the microphone input port. WTF? I have NEVER seen that in any computer in my entire life. What a worthless machine.

So there you have it folks, ultimate proof that unless you need to use ONE piece of video editing software that is only on Macs, they are completely worthless. They don’t magically perform any better than pcs simply because they’re Macs, they crash and freeze when working with memory and cpu intensive programs such as those in the adobe CS4 suite just as often as pcs do, if not more from what I’ve seen.

Also, if you were planning on spending 2,249 dollars on that iMac, and don’t mind spending the extra 485 dollars you’d save getting the pc part list I put together, you could throw in a pretty sweet sound card and/or a kick ass surround sound system to go along with it all.

Do note that I did leave shipping costs out of both of these equations as well.

So I really do hope I’ve provided more than enough information to prove to you my point.

Macs are worthless

Megan Fox is ugly

Megan Fox has a giant freaking madams apple. She has a stupid half open mouth constantly coupled with this blank horse face that just makes her look like an idiot. She is a horrible actor, and she has only one stupid tone that she uses every time she speaks. It's like trying to play a timpani part on a pair of bongos, it sounds terrible and doesn't work. This post has been long overdue, and I have only waited so long because I wanted the impact of how truly terrible transformers 2 was to fully sink in. That being said, I'm not done with Michael bay yet.

Transformers 2 SUCKED`

This has to be one of the worst pieces of cinematic garbage I have EVER had the misfortune of seeing at a midnight showing. Mind you, I went to the midnight showing of SNAKES ON A PLANE, and if forced to watch either Transformers 2 or SOAP? You'd better bet your butt I'd be less sick and tired of those snakes on that plane than those incomprehensible heaps of metal nonsense. My three main complaints, which I feel are also the biggest sour point in this film, are the incredibly base and lewd jokes and humor, the lack of connection to any characters, and the lack of any story telling. Actually, allow me to add a fourth, the horrible make you want to vomit diarrhea camera work that plagues this entire film. Not to mention that this movie is two and a half hours long although half way through it already feels like it's been three hours. I'm just gonna cut it off right there, this movie is terrible, I'm never going to watch either the first or the second ever again and I will not be seeing any more that they are going to inevitably make. Two thumbs down, no stars, do not go and see this film EVER.

Imposters and identity theft.

Impersonations are cool as long as they are done for comedic or satirical purposes, for the most part. There is a point however where these things cross over into the border of identity theft. It's like famous people who have a twitter account that's supposedly theirs, even though they have somebody else update it for them acting like them. Or that guy who claimed to be Kanye West and said something hilarious about something that was said about him, it was funny but it wasn't right. I think that people who do these sorts of things should be sent to jail. It's like me making a myspace page for George W. Bush and doing things on it that just mock him and make him look like a fool. Seriously though, if you see things like this you should be more concerned, because you never know when it's going to happen to you.

Where the paragraphs at?

Excuse me for not using paragraphs.

Do you know the function of a paragraph, which people so encourage me to use more often? It's a device used in literature and writing that separates ideas. It's meant to help give specific meaning to a section of words.

Why do we have to use them though? Why can't we just write what comes out of our mouths and put it down on the paper? Why can't I just start punching the keys and end where I feel I should end?

I don't know about you but I'm starting to get annoyed by these paragraphs.

After all, a paragraph is meant to separate ideas, and so far I've had a lot of ideas to separate.

I like just writing words and leaving them all together, because to me they mean nothing on their own. It's like you pick up a book and then put it down, pick up another one and put it down, and do it again and again and again.

What happens when a random ideas comes and separates two sentences that would otherwise be in the same paragraph?

The reason I leave my words all in one big chunk is because they are all related to each other.

That is why when I write I don't see separate ideas, different parts for some big machine. I see a passage, flowing from the start to the end like a mighty river, the constant tide, the rising and setting of the sun.

I could use two words to describe how I feel about paragraphs, but I'll leave that out of here, for the sake of the children.

I hate you paragraphs, you turn writing into a monster and dissect it while it's still alive, mangling it and slowly killing it.

This is what it looks like when you use paragraphs properly, so please, tell me how wonderful they are now?

Pepsi or Coke.....

Yeah, I don't like Coke but I also don't like Pepsi. Now if it's available to drink and there's nothing else I'd rather have, like a barqs rootbeer, then give me a coke or pepsi. Why do I have to like one or the other though? Why is it that when I said that I don't like coke, the first thing people said was "Oh, so you're a Pepsi guy?" Why is it that we as people must be categories and classified into every little thing imaginable, we can't just be people. If somebody was mad at me let's say during a debate and he said "We'll of course you don't know what you're talking about, you like Pepsi." or "We'll of course you don't know what's actually funny you like Invader Zim" I'd say it's no worse than them just flat out calling me stupid, dumb, retarded, an idiot, a moron, a buffoon, or ANY other derogatory statement. Of course people want to be around those that are like themselves, it's only a reflection on the true nature of man and just how self absorbed we all really all. I know I'm guilty of this, I hate on Mac users, people with chrome 22s' on their cars, liberals, jocks, just look at my other posts and you'll see. Yeah, I could say I do this for comedy but that still doesn't cover the fact that I mean what I write and it's a statement on how I feel. Still though, I will respect peoples legal rights to do the things they do, and the things they love. After all, that is what we all are, people, not Coke or Pepsi, but people.

Worse for wear, a bad case of The Redeye.

I do enjoy a good read every time I come across a fun book, such as World War Z, but most of my printed reading material comes in the form of the paper. Now, this isn't the Tribune or the Sun Times or any of those big ones, it's the Redeye, the only paper in Chicago I can afford (because it's free). I barely read half of this paper however, as I find most of it boring and uninspired. Let's go through why.

1st page, unimportant news I don't care about.
Next page, why the CTA sucks. Duh? *flip*
Wow, a 2 page spread on coffee. Tell me again why people drink this crap?
More unimportant news, yawn.
Nation/world news, finally a good page with some interesting news stories.
Sports section, skipped entirely
Metro Mix, where to get drunk and listen to boring generic bands. SKIP
Pop section, wow a 2 page U2 spread, who cares? Boring tv shows. WHO CARES?
Whoville and Redhot, stuff about celebrities and Hollywood. Who gives a CRAP?

Now occasionally there is an interesting article in the paper, but usually when that happens it is the only worthwhile part of the paper.

Wrap up: I'm getting tired of having Redeye, maybe I'll go for some Onion Breath for a while.

More BOOM for yo ZOOM

I love 33hz, I love bass, I love ultra low subsonic bass frequency boomin and shakin down the house. I HATE when people play poorly done rap noise in their cars that use only one sub tone the whole song, and they blast it as if it's cool. If you're going to blast bass from your car, make sure you're blasting good music. Rap noise generally only uses one bass tone the whole song which repetitively comes in every measure in a never changing fashion that makes you want to hurl. They don't even have subdrops, and that's one of the coolest elements of bass music. Please, if you're going to play bass music in your car, which many know by the name of Miami Bass, make it good music such as Bass Mekanik, Techmaster P.E.B., and others.

I'll win and I'll like it! You won't, sorry.

Hackers! Oh my are they annoying, you're trying to play a fun game on the interwebs on your computer and these people come in and they start cheating. You're playing let's say a shooter game and all of the sudden you can't kill some guy, you empty two clips into him and he's still standing. You're playing CTF (Capture the Flag) and all of the sudden some guy gets your flag and captures it in like 2 seconds because he's teleporting and speed hacking. A person on the opposite team gets all head shots because he's using an aim bot. A person starts shooting at you and kills you right when you go around the corner because he's using a program that lets him see through the walls. This is hacking, and holy crap is it annoying. Either they have no skill or they're just plain bored, but whatever the case is they're always a jerk. Ruining a game is never cool, because obviously the people playing want to play fair and equally. It's like when you're playing a board game like Monopoly and somebody makes a trade that just throws off the entire game because they were losing, or people steal money from the bank. Hacking is just cheating in the digital world. Hackers are horrible and they make games suck, end of story.

Happy New Beers

Oh my goodness gracious, where to even start on this one. I always find it ironic that people becon in the new year by being completely drunk and trashed. Fresh start, while drunk? Eh, people will always perplex me with their flawed logic and such but that's human nature for you. I do wish that new years wasn't just an excuse to get drunk but that's never going to change, so though I do enjoy being with people and having fun, I will always resent the fact that it's next to impossible to find a good party that isn't about drinking. Either way, what's so new about the new year anyways besides some new number at the end? Life still continues and people stay stuck in their ways though they resolve to do otherwise.

Make the new year count, don't just view it as some novelty thing.