Thursday, November 26, 2009

Twilight New Moon was the worst movie ever (besides Transformers 2)

Twilight New Moon was terrible, absolutely abysmal. I have never seen worse acting in my entire life, it's as if nobody is able to get through a single line without it hurting them. Nobody uses a normal inflection in their voice for any sentence. Also, making fun of zombie movies (original dawn of the dead) drawing parallels to consumerism in a vampire flick? How pretentious and better than thou, get over yourself worthless movie. Oh, and let's not forget Romeo and Juliet, SUBTLE ENOUGH? Worst movie ever, right behind Transformers 2, that movie is still worse somehow.

Spoiler alert: Never see this movie because it sucks and I'm going to tell you why.

Seriously, the story in this movie doesn't progress AT ALL until the VERY last scene. It starts off with Bella loving Edward and blah blah, then Edward says I can't be with you I'm going away. That right there is where the story starts, because it sets up a conflict. For anybody who doesn't know, here's how stories are laid out.

Characters introduced, plot element introduced, conflict, buildup, climax, resolution, roll credits.

Twilight does follow that format, but only for 10 minutes of the entire 2 hour and whatever too long film. The whole film is just useless and painful filler that serves to add nothing to the main story in any manner whatsoever.

Nobody delivers a line straight up. Every sentence is spoken in this low miserable tone of voice and broke into like a billion segments. JUST SAY THE DAMN SENTENCE ALREADY.

Yeah, the voltaire were worthless as well. What a bunch of royal creeps sitting on their thrones.

The music in this film made no sense. I'm quite positive certain record labels paid top billing so they could put their bands music in the film so when the soundtrack is sold people will buy other cds of the people on the soundtrack. The werewolf chasing the red haired girl scene had music that totally didn't fit. Also, every song was from a band that uses way overly pretentious effects and elements for music and when they sing it's like that whining emo queer singing that is also overly pretentious. The music sucks in this film.

Also, there are just so many scenes and camera shots they have where you can tell they are trying way too hard. It's like the most overly pretentious gothic film wannabe I have ever seen in my entire life. Like every shot screams "look at me I'm a gothic film I'm so great look at how awesome I am".

Oh, how white can Edward be? Dude, take off the friggin lip stick and tone down the powder.

Yeah, this was the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.

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