Twilight New Moon was terrible, absolutely abysmal. I have never seen worse acting in my entire life, it's as if nobody is able to get through a single line without it hurting them. Nobody uses a normal inflection in their voice for any sentence. Also, making fun of zombie movies (original dawn of the dead) drawing parallels to consumerism in a vampire flick? How pretentious and better than thou, get over yourself worthless movie. Oh, and let's not forget Romeo and Juliet, SUBTLE ENOUGH? Worst movie ever, right behind Transformers 2, that movie is still worse somehow.
Spoiler alert: Never see this movie because it sucks and I'm going to tell you why.
Seriously, the story in this movie doesn't progress AT ALL until the VERY last scene. It starts off with Bella loving Edward and blah blah, then Edward says I can't be with you I'm going away. That right there is where the story starts, because it sets up a conflict. For anybody who doesn't know, here's how stories are laid out.
Characters introduced, plot element introduced, conflict, buildup, climax, resolution, roll credits.
Twilight does follow that format, but only for 10 minutes of the entire 2 hour and whatever too long film. The whole film is just useless and painful filler that serves to add nothing to the main story in any manner whatsoever.
Nobody delivers a line straight up. Every sentence is spoken in this low miserable tone of voice and broke into like a billion segments. JUST SAY THE DAMN SENTENCE ALREADY.
Yeah, the voltaire were worthless as well. What a bunch of royal creeps sitting on their thrones.
The music in this film made no sense. I'm quite positive certain record labels paid top billing so they could put their bands music in the film so when the soundtrack is sold people will buy other cds of the people on the soundtrack. The werewolf chasing the red haired girl scene had music that totally didn't fit. Also, every song was from a band that uses way overly pretentious effects and elements for music and when they sing it's like that whining emo queer singing that is also overly pretentious. The music sucks in this film.
Also, there are just so many scenes and camera shots they have where you can tell they are trying way too hard. It's like the most overly pretentious gothic film wannabe I have ever seen in my entire life. Like every shot screams "look at me I'm a gothic film I'm so great look at how awesome I am".
Oh, how white can Edward be? Dude, take off the friggin lip stick and tone down the powder.
Yeah, this was the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.
Showing posts with label terrible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label terrible. Show all posts
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
School Contests
My college is currently having a contest online, to see who can define what Columbia College of Chicago looks like when it's at its best. So many people wrote so many ridiculous, haughty, over the top idiotic nonsensical responses. This one guy went on and on about it being a fillet Mignon. Seriously? So many people tried being so artsy about it, saying things like "it's such an enriching bastion for creativity and change". Give me a break. Here's what I entered for the contest.
Columbia at its' best is a very odd term to try and understand. What is Columbia, other than a motley assortment of partly rundown buildings strung throughout the south loop, furnished with some top of the line equipment? That is of course besides the Macs, because macs are terrible. If we look at Columbia as a collection of people, there is no doubt that it is a collection of skilled and talented minds, that is of course when we strictly view the faculty in charge of teaching. When we look at Columbia as a collection of students, however, we see an entirely different world. We see students who go out at least twice a week, get high and get wasted, and then recant their stories of drunk driving, intoxicated sex, and other shenanigans, and display pride in themselves for this behavior. They wear mismatched clothing articles that would never go together and call it style. They act like their style is individualistic and new, even though every person around them is doing exactly the same thing. They speak of bands and musicians that are so "underground" and fresh, and that they've been a fan from the start, even though tons of people have heard of that band and they've been a fan from the start too, that or the band is terrible and it's no wonder why nobody has ever heard of them. You find a group of liberal thinkers who say that they are ahead of the curve, and that they are so forward in their ways, even though they are more bigoted then those they claim to be. They speak out against the government and others in charge, and they know nothing of what they say. When you look at the students of Columbia at its' best, you find a muddled pile of confused and obtuse individuals who have no direction or pull over their own person or life. Columbia, a soulless shell of a haven for every misunderstood artist under the sun.
Let's hope honesty goes rewarded here.
Columbia at its' best is a very odd term to try and understand. What is Columbia, other than a motley assortment of partly rundown buildings strung throughout the south loop, furnished with some top of the line equipment? That is of course besides the Macs, because macs are terrible. If we look at Columbia as a collection of people, there is no doubt that it is a collection of skilled and talented minds, that is of course when we strictly view the faculty in charge of teaching. When we look at Columbia as a collection of students, however, we see an entirely different world. We see students who go out at least twice a week, get high and get wasted, and then recant their stories of drunk driving, intoxicated sex, and other shenanigans, and display pride in themselves for this behavior. They wear mismatched clothing articles that would never go together and call it style. They act like their style is individualistic and new, even though every person around them is doing exactly the same thing. They speak of bands and musicians that are so "underground" and fresh, and that they've been a fan from the start, even though tons of people have heard of that band and they've been a fan from the start too, that or the band is terrible and it's no wonder why nobody has ever heard of them. You find a group of liberal thinkers who say that they are ahead of the curve, and that they are so forward in their ways, even though they are more bigoted then those they claim to be. They speak out against the government and others in charge, and they know nothing of what they say. When you look at the students of Columbia at its' best, you find a muddled pile of confused and obtuse individuals who have no direction or pull over their own person or life. Columbia, a soulless shell of a haven for every misunderstood artist under the sun.
Let's hope honesty goes rewarded here.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Transformers 2 SUCKED`
This has to be one of the worst pieces of cinematic garbage I have EVER had the misfortune of seeing at a midnight showing. Mind you, I went to the midnight showing of SNAKES ON A PLANE, and if forced to watch either Transformers 2 or SOAP? You'd better bet your butt I'd be less sick and tired of those snakes on that plane than those incomprehensible heaps of metal nonsense. My three main complaints, which I feel are also the biggest sour point in this film, are the incredibly base and lewd jokes and humor, the lack of connection to any characters, and the lack of any story telling. Actually, allow me to add a fourth, the horrible make you want to vomit diarrhea camera work that plagues this entire film. Not to mention that this movie is two and a half hours long although half way through it already feels like it's been three hours. I'm just gonna cut it off right there, this movie is terrible, I'm never going to watch either the first or the second ever again and I will not be seeing any more that they are going to inevitably make. Two thumbs down, no stars, do not go and see this film EVER.
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