Where the paragraphs at?

Excuse me for not using paragraphs.

Do you know the function of a paragraph, which people so encourage me to use more often? It's a device used in literature and writing that separates ideas. It's meant to help give specific meaning to a section of words.

Why do we have to use them though? Why can't we just write what comes out of our mouths and put it down on the paper? Why can't I just start punching the keys and end where I feel I should end?

I don't know about you but I'm starting to get annoyed by these paragraphs.

After all, a paragraph is meant to separate ideas, and so far I've had a lot of ideas to separate.

I like just writing words and leaving them all together, because to me they mean nothing on their own. It's like you pick up a book and then put it down, pick up another one and put it down, and do it again and again and again.

What happens when a random ideas comes and separates two sentences that would otherwise be in the same paragraph?

The reason I leave my words all in one big chunk is because they are all related to each other.

That is why when I write I don't see separate ideas, different parts for some big machine. I see a passage, flowing from the start to the end like a mighty river, the constant tide, the rising and setting of the sun.

I could use two words to describe how I feel about paragraphs, but I'll leave that out of here, for the sake of the children.

I hate you paragraphs, you turn writing into a monster and dissect it while it's still alive, mangling it and slowly killing it.

This is what it looks like when you use paragraphs properly, so please, tell me how wonderful they are now?

Pepsi or Coke.....

Yeah, I don't like Coke but I also don't like Pepsi. Now if it's available to drink and there's nothing else I'd rather have, like a barqs rootbeer, then give me a coke or pepsi. Why do I have to like one or the other though? Why is it that when I said that I don't like coke, the first thing people said was "Oh, so you're a Pepsi guy?" Why is it that we as people must be categories and classified into every little thing imaginable, we can't just be people. If somebody was mad at me let's say during a debate and he said "We'll of course you don't know what you're talking about, you like Pepsi." or "We'll of course you don't know what's actually funny you like Invader Zim" I'd say it's no worse than them just flat out calling me stupid, dumb, retarded, an idiot, a moron, a buffoon, or ANY other derogatory statement. Of course people want to be around those that are like themselves, it's only a reflection on the true nature of man and just how self absorbed we all really all. I know I'm guilty of this, I hate on Mac users, people with chrome 22s' on their cars, liberals, jocks, just look at my other posts and you'll see. Yeah, I could say I do this for comedy but that still doesn't cover the fact that I mean what I write and it's a statement on how I feel. Still though, I will respect peoples legal rights to do the things they do, and the things they love. After all, that is what we all are, people, not Coke or Pepsi, but people.

Worse for wear, a bad case of The Redeye.

I do enjoy a good read every time I come across a fun book, such as World War Z, but most of my printed reading material comes in the form of the paper. Now, this isn't the Tribune or the Sun Times or any of those big ones, it's the Redeye, the only paper in Chicago I can afford (because it's free). I barely read half of this paper however, as I find most of it boring and uninspired. Let's go through why.

1st page, unimportant news I don't care about.
Next page, why the CTA sucks. Duh? *flip*
Wow, a 2 page spread on coffee. Tell me again why people drink this crap?
More unimportant news, yawn.
Nation/world news, finally a good page with some interesting news stories.
Sports section, skipped entirely
Metro Mix, where to get drunk and listen to boring generic bands. SKIP
Pop section, wow a 2 page U2 spread, who cares? Boring tv shows. WHO CARES?
Whoville and Redhot, stuff about celebrities and Hollywood. Who gives a CRAP?

Now occasionally there is an interesting article in the paper, but usually when that happens it is the only worthwhile part of the paper.

Wrap up: I'm getting tired of having Redeye, maybe I'll go for some Onion Breath for a while.